hi bitch

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- Cat Ipsum -

Rub my belly hiss swipe at owner's legs sniff catnip and act crazy growl at dogs in my sleep sit on the laptop for hiss at vacuum cleaner i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me.

Head nudges eat my own ears. Hey! you there, with the hands why can't i catch that stupid red dot, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff, or roll over and sun my belly curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.

Sleep nap run around the house at 4 in the morning so push your water glass on the floor. Don't nosh on the birds. Cat mojo always hungry, or unwrap toilet paper. Walk on a keyboard i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy i like cats because they are fat and fluffy use lap as chair, or if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard sleep everywhere, but not in my bed. Catch mouse and gave it as a present. Grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish. Purr for no reason. Find a way to fit in tiny box chill on the couch table lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back but stare out the window give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it but rub against owner because nose is wet but carrying out surveillance on the neighbour's dog. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot sniff catnip and act crazy sit by the fire. Kitty mew refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am stare at imaginary bug. Attack feet this is the day and time to go zooooom i like big cats and i can not lie. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Eat the rubberband throw down all the stuff in the kitchen, put butt in owner's face cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle?. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. Cats are a queer kind of folk ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl nap all day furrier and even more furrier hairball, so this human feeds me, i should be a god.